LTGAPMFLOTTTSLNOI2BSMTTFSSOM!

Liz "The Great Aunt" Paulin's Mighty Fine List Of Top Ten Thingies She's Learned, Not Only In 2008, But Since Moving To The Formerly Swing State Of Missouri:

#10 Missouri, aka "the fire swamp", is quite lovely once you've learned to navigate it's perils, wot wot.

#9 Liz is apparently not nocturnal enough to fully appreciate the virtues of "Twilight".

#8 Roaches are beetles. That's all they are. They are not endowed with superpowers. Owmm.

The following two are a direct result of the Great Paulin House Flood of 2007:

#7 Sometimes the Lord lets the floods in so we can find and repair the leaks in the walls (and inside Liz.)


#6 If it weren't for cloudy skies, we would never recognize sunbeams for what they are.

#5 Enduring to the end takes, well...endurance! Huh, go figure.

#4 Choosing the right is hard. So's finishing school. So's raising kids. So's daily cardio. Do it anyway, Liz!!

#3 You are what you eat...and watch...and listen to.


#2 aka "My official rant for 2008":

It's been my observation that the majority of celebridom is a walking tragedy, full of self-loathers who hide their insecurities behind surgery, steroids and starvation in the sad pursuit of being loved and admired by people who don't know them. Case in point: Oprah, you're beautiful. You are NOT a cow. Exercise regularly, eat healthy, and stop reading "Cosmo" for Pete's sake! You're 50 something years old!!! I thought women were liberated!!!!!!


And finally......

#1 Missouri lesson learned:

Don't laugh at the stake president when he extends a call to your husband.

It's not funny.

THE END

(roll credits)





Oh yes, and one more thing....
In 2009...
May our pets be domiciley continent.
May our children be safe and strong.
May our homes be secure.
May our schools be our allies.
May our beds be springy and warm.
May our gardens be bursting and resiliant.
May our broken fences be mended, at least from our side.